Ok, so I’m disappointed that I have not received any feedback on my picture blog, but I will continue to post there in case some of you get joy from seeing the photographs.
Now the and such part…
For some odd reason it seems that I only post here when I have to vent, but there is good reason for that. People that I want to vent about do not know about this page and so I am free to express myself anyway that I wish, without fear of retribution/retaliation. I mean, in a perfect world, I would be able to do this to people’s faces, etc… but alas, this world is not perfect.
Ok, so this is one of my many friends posts. I have many issues with friends. I’m wondering if it’s me changing as a person or if it’s them changing… or both of us simultaneously… I’m not sure. Anyway, I’m afraid that I may be losing these people as friends, and to my knowledge, through no fault of my own. It just seems that we are not on the same train of thought lately. Everything one says to the other gets misread or misinterpreted and leads to retarded arguments… even if they are unstated arguments. Currently I’m dealing with one of these unstated deals. Anyway, not really going to go into background details about the event that started the whole thing but I will give you a cliffs notes version.
— Begin Conversation —
Me: “want to go out tonight?”
Them: “only if you can get person ‘a’ or person ‘b’ to come along.”
Me: “why, am I and person x not cool enough for you to hang out with?”
Them: “yup, you guys aren’t cool enough for me.” (i kid you not, this was not said with any sort of levity or sarcasm)
Me: “wow.”
— End Conversation —
Person ‘a’ ends up coming out at the last minute. I decide not to call this friend to let them know that person ‘a’ has joined our twosome group. I figure the invitation was given and if you don’t want to chill with two people I figure you consider your friends, then why should the situation change if person ‘a’ is there? Am I wrong? Was it a horrible thing for me to do? Should I have re-invited the friend? Ok, I do have to admit that this friend was called by a drunken member of the party during the evening in which the fact that person ‘a’ was present was let out of the bag. Sort of a shitty thing but what are you going to do. This led to the friend hanging up and a text message sent to my phone calling me an asshole to which i responded (i shouldn’t have) by calling said friend a jerk. So, read all this info, let me know your thoughts.
I’m currently taking a break from this person. I figure that’s the best thing at the moment. Oh, they aren’t going to change… I’m going to have to, I think…. it really does sadden me.
I have gotten feedback from a mutual friend that we both have in which they say the percentage of ‘giving’ to the relationship is 85% me 15% the other. Not really fair… and I’m not sure, but I think the fact that I’ve come to this realization is what is affecting (is that correct?) the current state of our friendship.
I’ve been told on multiple occasions by different people that I’m one of the most compromising friends they have and that I resist the most to last minute changes or to even doing things that I may not really want to do. Anyway, as you can see, I’m being troubled by this and advice/words of encouragement (or even criticisms) are welcome.
And one more “and such” comment….
I’m reading applications for this scholarship that I had when I went to university. These are all very worthy children that would greatly benefit from this money. I’m part of the selection committee and we will be holding our interviews on Thursday and Friday of this week. I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I saw in front of me but as the days grow closer, I am becoming very excited. I can’t wait to meet some of these people and to see if they are actually anything like what they look like on paper. That will definitely help me in my decision making.
Ok, this was a long post and I will make them shorter from now on. Please check out my picture blog. Look for pics from my hiking trip this upcoming weekend!!
http://danspicblog.blogspot.com
Ya, we talked about this the other night on the phone – I always vent on Livejournal too. I became familiar with the term “emo” in the past 6 months but no worries – that isn’t us! It’s perfectly fine to have a place to vent, especially when the people we talk about don’t even know about the site.
Your friend doesn’t sound like much of a friend at all. Is this the same friend you told me about before? Either way they sound passive-aggressive….I’d be interested to know what is really bothering him. You weren’t wrong to not call him back. The event for the night didn’t change and he WAS invited. If there were self-imposed conditions on his going or not then screw him! He has no leverige (sp?) here. I would most definitely take a break from him and let him get his act together. Either your friendship is important or it isn’t….and if it isn’t then it’s totally his loss!! Don’t stress too much about it – you aren’t at fault here and we all love you!