On Wednesday I went to the post office to mail an item through priority mail. I dread going to the post office for fear of the lines that await me. I fear those lines less than I fear the mail room at my office though and so we have this story.
I decide to drive to the Tolleson post office because I figure the lines there will be much smaller than at a larger post office in Phoenix. Besides, the Tolleson post office is closer to my office than any other so I save on gas. When I arrive at the post office, the lines are okay, not too long and it seems like everyone has their shit together. I get in line behind this lady who feels that letting her child run around the place is a good idea and wait. At the front of the line, there is this older gentleman who gets called to the counter next. There are three USPS employees working the counter. What happens next is just classic. I have never heard someone complain so much to a postal worker about how much the US Postal Service sucks. Here’s how the conversation went down:
Older Man: “I just moved into a new home in the area and they said I had to come down here to get my mailbox keys. Why do I need mailbox keys? Are these keys going to be for that large collection of mailboxes?”
Postal Worker: “You are correct. You will need to collect your mail from that central mailbox location. The keys will unlock your box. What is your address so I can get you your keys?”
Older Man: “That is ridiculous! Back in the day, you would get your mail delivered to your house! I am an old man and I cannot be walking to the mailbox every day to pick up my mail! Why are we paying $0.42 to send a letter and not even getting our mail delivered to our door?”
Postal Worker: “I’m sorry you feel that way sir, but this is how the USPS requires new home developments to be setup. We no longer deliver to people’s front doors…”
Older Man (interrupting): “Yes you do! You deliver letters to my sisters front door and put them in her mailbox!”
Postal Worker: “Does your sister live in an older home? We still deliver to doors/mailboxes in older communities. The central mailboxes are only for newer communities.”
Older Man: “Do you know how hot it is outside? You expect me to walk and pick up my mail every day?”
Postal Worker: “I do know how hot it can get here, sir. May I suggest that you drive to the mailboxes to pick up your mail?”
Older Man: “What? Do you know much gas costs? You think I have that kind of disposable income to use gas to drive over to the mailboxes to pick up my mail? That is ridiculous!”
Postal Worker: “I’m sorry that you feel it is an inconvenience but I have no control over your mail delivery. If you’d like, you can write a letter to the Postmaster General. Did you need to mail an item sir?”
Older Man: “Yes, I need to mail this letter.”
Postal Worker: “Okay, is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Older Man: “You’d better give me some stamps as well. I need a sheet of $0.01 and a roll of the regulars.”
Postal Worker: “The roll of stamps will be $42…"
Older Man (interrupting): "What?! I’m on a fixed income! I can’t afford that! Just give me three stamps, that’ll hold me over until next week."
Okay, so they may not be direct quotes above, but it is pretty close. Anyway, the old man proceeds to leave the post office. If any of you have been to a post office recently, you know how they sell supplies in the lobby? Padded envelopes, boxes, etc. Well, this old man is leaving the post office, walks over to the stand and says to himself, "Huh, I need some of these (padded envelopes) for those tapes I am going to mail." He takes four or five from the rack and walks out. Seriously, out of control.
The only other funny event that happened that day was a bride and groom mailing out their invitations. The groom must not have mailed something in about 5 years as he was shocked at how much a stamp cost and accused the man behind the counter of wanting to charge more for a wedding designed stamp. Crazy!!!
